Kassi Martin's Blog
Come And Find Me!
How are you today?
I've been happily creating in my studio. painting, tearing, gluing, Happy Me :)
It's so cosy in here with the rain pouring down outside, the chatty Crow community cawing in the almost-bare Beech Trees. I think all the Autumn leaves have blown into our garden, forming bronze and golden mini hills everywhere. Our beautiful boy would have loved running through the leaves if he had still been here with us (sad sigh).
Do you like my colourful painting in the Header at the top? This is 'Deer-Tree'.
I was really struggling with Letting Go and Trusting (again) whilst Deer-Tree was emerging.
Phew - the tension in my shoulders while my 'Thinking' and 'Inner Critic grappled with my Intuition. Finally however, when I gave up the fight and allowed my fingers and intuition to flow I actually loved what happened. I do believe my Intuition is firmly rooted in my Body. It's in my Body's 'brain' where I discover my 'Sensing' for things... I can sense how I feel in my Unconscious, I can sense danger around, I can sense the quality of a Feeling. That kind of Sensing.
I've been creating my new ecourse called "Come And Find Me!" It's all about seeking out those hidden Parts of Self. You maybe know the ones I mean, tucked away, hiding within. Or perhaps you don't know... maybe there are Parts of you that have become Lost, Forgotten or Never Known.
Sometimes when the environment isn't safe for ourselves, especially when we are very young, we safely keep those Parts 'unknown' or 'unseen' and other Parts step forward, adapting to the family system, school system, church system, work system... we find ourselves in.
Perhaps Deer-Tree was wounded once upon a time, it hurt so much he withdrew inside and stayed there quietly, watching, waiting for the "right" canvas to come along and be welcomed out into the light of day? It was when I intuitively selected Fluorescent Pink Paint for the 'sky' that Deer-Tree emerged. He looked so funny and cute suddenly. Head and Shoulders, peering out at me from the Tree shape.
It was as if we both stood there staring at each other for a few moments as if to say to each other, 'who are you!'.
Then I smiled and was so delighted that I'd painted that pink sky. Initially Deer-Tree was very camouflaged as a Tree but I distinctly saw his eyes. Eventually when I had pushed through my fears (my Inner Critic was absolute that 'Trees do not have eyes!' and allowed myself to really flow with that Fluorescent Pink, he developed bright blue antlers and a wonky, cute face.
I had another huge battle within when my impulse was to bring out his Heart shape and add big pink necklace. My Inner Critic muttered, 'Deer don't wear necklaces and he's a He!'
However Deer-Tree insisted on wearing that pink necklace! I love him.
I believe these hurt Parts of Self have a sense of whether they will be safe, welcomed and accepted. Maybe they've never been seen before... aware that the environment was too risky or unsafe for them to venture out?
I believe we are made up of many Parts. Some parts are prominent and vocal, other Parts sit quietly watching, listening intently. Are you aware of a Community Of Selves within?
Using Intuitive Art can really help us to find these hidden, lost or wounded Parts of Self.
Mainly this is because we are working intuitively, unconsciously. We are not 'thinking' about this, we are not 'planning', we are simply using art materials spontaneously and then watch what emerges, moment by moment.
This is how I discovered Deer-Tree. He was initially a Tree. When I began to outline a shape this happened very spontaneously. I didn't have any plans for my Background to become a tree, I was simply allowing my fingers to lead the way.
It sounds incredibly simple and technically it is. I believe we do have to get out of our own way though. We have to clear a space and allow ourselves to simply Be our Intuitive Selves.
I believe we have to unlearn all that stuff we were taught way back in childhood, to dismiss our analytical and critical mind and actually Trust as opposed to mistrust, our Intuition.
To approach this by planning a 'Parts Of Self' Painting, I believe would quickly become a 'thinking/planning project and for me, as soon as I get into 'thinking' or 'planning' mode, my Inner Critic gets involved whether he was invited or not. Not fun for me. I really get a sense that my Critic has marvellous fun tormenting me!
What Is Fun, for me, is when I allow my fingers and art materials to lead the way. This is when great things happen.
So I noticed that the Tree had an eye. A big right eye with a huge blue circle around it. So I let that 'eye' be seen and added another 'eye' on the left just where I sensed the other.
The branches of the Tree suddenly appeared to be 'Antlers,' so again I followed my instinct and allowed them to be bright blue even though my Inner Critic was furious that I would dare to make them anything other than greeny-brown!
While Deer-Tree was being birthed, I also noticed a moody Bulldog wandering around over to the left. Then timid Owl emerged over to the right, just peeping in at the side of the board.
Deer-Tree had been in hiding for a very long time. He hadn't felt safe enough to be seen or heard so he stayed very, very still within, hiding. This information came from slowing everything down, relaxing through deep breathing, and sensing deeply. Whatever comes through my Sensing, I trust it. It is rich with useful information from my Unconscious.
I got a sense of the Moody Bulldog being 'on guard' and taking his bulldog duties very seriously. He was called Beryl and had been watching out for Deer-Tree for a very long time. He wasn't sure that Deer-Tree ought to risk emerging... 'just in case'.
Had I not spent the time creating, I may never have discovered Deer-Tree. I spent time writing reflectively, tuning inwards and allowing my sensing to really 'hear' from these Parts. Revealing and uncovering these Parts of Self helps me to feel much more whole and complete, enriching who I am.
You may be interested to know on 27 October I am providing a day's painting in my studio to delve in deeply and seek out parts of our selves. I have one space left if you are interested. 5 hours CPD if you need this. I provide all art materials in abundance, also teas, coffees, herbals and nibbles; usually marshmallows and turkish delight. If you would like to ask questions or book your place, please get in touch. We begin 9;45am until 3;30pm here in Gretna.
For those who can't travel, I am in the process of creating this as a new ecourse for exciting Personal Development and wonderful Creativity.
We had been out in the woods and the leaves were falling all around us. The sound of the birds was amazing and the autumn colours just made me itch to get into the studio and create.
Take good care,