How are you doing?
Yesterday I dug out my favourite, fluffy, amethyst jumpers, my soft Indigo fleece with rows of pinks, purples & greens and my luscious Scarves including my favourite soft lilac and a gorgeous bobbly grey one ...and washed them all.
Quite an unusual response for me when it comes to washing clothes but I definitely felt excited! I do not wish to be a domestic goddess, however I am an avid lover of Autumn and crisp Winter days wrapped up in soft, colourful fluffiness.
With so much Autumn colour to gaze at; golden, bronzy, yellow and rusty Beech Trees outside our home, big, fat yellow, orange and deep red Rosehips practically bursting out of their own skin, Rowan Trees laden with reds, oranges and yellow berries, Ivy tendrils all over our garden walls. Just heavenly to my eyes.
I love to get my over sized, fluffy amethyst sweater on with chunky scarf snuggled around my neck and watch my breath form 'frosty clouds' before my face as I walk.
When I was a child I remember coming home from the stables, all rosey-cheeks, sparkling eyes and messy hair to a crackling fire going up the chimney. Ahhh those colourful, sock-warming-toes kind of evenings.
With highest temperatures now at 14 degrees of late - Autumn is definitely on its way (contented sigh).
This is my most favourite time of year. I often wonder if this is about "new-ness". I was born in September. All of this gorgeous new-ness would have hit my Senses during my first few pram rides back then, creating quite an imprint in my mind.
How about you? When is your favourite time of year?
I've been completely engrossed in making a new ecourse, well two in fact. 'Honouring My Inner Child' and, now almost ready; 'In The Words Of A Song'.
They've both been such important processes for me. I learned so much, both brimming with insight and self discovery. Honouring My Inner Child showed me exactly how my ability to see others before myself was created and how easily I become distracted. Very, very useful piece of work to have insight and understanding regarding this. It just emerged before me on hardboard through my intuitive Mixed Media creation. Time and again this kind of exciting Insight and Self Discovery happens for those who create through my ecourses. I am very grateful they are so beneficial for you too.
'In The Words Of A Song' has been an amazing process to create. All those song choice! I wanted to create an ecourse that combined our love of Music and how this impacts us with intuitive art and reflective writing. So much came out of this for me and I can't wait to hear how this goes for you too. It will be available from a facebook group initially, so if you wish to participate please let me know. Just £29 and bursting with Self Discovery and Potential for personal growth.
It's such a funny process I go through though. An idea for an ecourse emerges, usually in the form of a title... then I go through a process holding the title in mind and as soon as I finish the course, I feel great satisfaction, excitement and gratitude, then I tend to have a flat feeling accompanied by a thought... "what if I can never do this again? What if this is it?!"
Oh my, what an awful thought. It's very persistent and for a brief time, I actually believe it. I pour so much into creating, I almost feel empty by the end of it.
Then I realise, my Inner Critic has burst in on the scene, shattering my lovely feelings of achievement and pride. This is generally the way when we have achieved something whether small or big... our Inner Critic just cannot allow us to revel in our achievement. It needs us back in our box... back within the confines of our Family of Origin's values and beliefs.
Our Inner Critic really can stop us in our tracks. A thought, a feeling... it can be all-consuming and completely disarming.
I do understand the process now. I pour huge amounts of knowledge and creative energy in to my courses, then relish in my satisfaction and joy when finished. This is only fleeting though....
My Inner Critic comes sauntering along with mischief in his or her eyes and dumps a big dollop of criticism or self doubt at my feet. I believe we can feel anything from shame, guilt, sad, flat.... anything but proud and excited.
How hard it can be not to fall for this stuff.... To not look more closely, to not pick it up and be taken in by it...
Time and time again throughout our lives we can hear the doubt. The harsh suggestions of "you're not good enough" or "you're getting too big for your boots," or in my case above "you're a one hit wonder."
No surprise I feel shocked to think that kind of thought. Our Inner Critic can be so cruel.
I become Frozen. I lose my ability to think or feel. We all do, I believe, when we're shocked at any level.
This is a very unpleasant place to reach - The Freeze response. Our nervous system seems to shut down. We can't think, feel or function other than survival mode. We breathe.... Rabbit In The Headlights moment.
It can take a bit of time to shift out of that place. We need not just space and time but to tremble a little, we can really feel quite shaky at times like these. Have you ever noticed your hands shaking or your knees knocking when you have had a big fright? This is very usual for a shock and important to allow it to do what it needs to until the trembly shaking works itself out of our body.
Then I remember! Gotcha Inner Critic! Buzz off back where you belong in history, in my Past.
Of course I can make another course or painting, I smile with relief to myself. It will come when it's ready. All I have to do is Be myself and all will be fine.
In fact I sense my next one coming already, 'Sapphi's Angel' - a Mixed Media ecourse for Grief and Loss. Oooh yes, just noticing the excitement in my tummy at the thought of creating this one and such an important issue to explore.
Have you visited my website recently? I'd really appreciate feedback if you wouldn't mind having a look. My website is like my Toddler. When I first began it was my Baby but now it is in toddler-hood.
I attend to it all the time, nurturing and developing it. I feel really excited about how it looks and all that is available for You on it. When I think back to when I wanted to have all my courses available online and now... there they are - I feel very content and excited, especially when I see how much benefit you gain from them. Thank you so much for participating and please do share your wonderful experiences with others.
For those of you who need to log CPD hours for your Professional Body, did you know you can count the hours spent on my Personal Development courses for CPD?
'Letting Go' is a free course and you can log 8 hours for this one. You can email me twice for free during this course and I respond to both emails, fully offering you insight, curiosity, support and all this adds up to lots of exciting Self Discovery and shifting closer to being the whole and complete You that you are beneath the layers. Just think of that for a moment - 8 hours of CPD, FREE of charge and full of rich personal growth AND you end up with a beautiful painting to frame and hang on your wall...
If I came across my website I would feel so excited about the fact I could create art, develop and change personally, log the hours for CPD And have a beautiful piece of art at the end of the process! Wow.
'Wildflowers' is also a lovely freeing, exciting, splattery fun kind of Painting which helps us to tackle our Inner Perfectionist who likes to control and keep everything neat and tidy. There are four videos for this ecourse and once more through the 'letting go' of our need to Control and Perfect we gain great insight and at least 4 CPD hours. Oh and this course is FREE of charge too!
Those ecourses which I charge for are still at the hugely discounted price of just £30 (except Paint The Tree of YOUR Life) for a little while longer. Each one is a beautiful creative process leading to a complete Mixed Media Painting. Whilst you create you are prompted by me to consider, reflect and explore your processes offering great insight for Personal Growth and you can log around 8 hours for CPD with each.
Take a look. You can include me in the exploration process if you wish for just another £45 if you enjoy delving deeply. I also have a free facebook group you can become a part of to share your images and any insight you wish to.
Well I feel a walk in the Woods coming on. We are lucky enough to have the beautiful Tara staying with us. She is a golden lab and such a beautiful and gentle girl.
When she arrived yesterday morning she ran over to our beloved Sapphi's pile of toys which we still have not managed to move since he died. Tara picked up one in her mouth and came to show me... My heart crumpled up and my eyes filled with tears as it was Sapphi's most precious toy...
Grief keeps on coming in waves as we live on I guess....
So yes... off to the woods we go. Could be muddy but it will be well worth it when we reach the Waterfall. We have had quite a lot of rain fall of late so it should be a rushing flow of exciting white foam dashing over the sandstone rocks towards the River Esk as it heads out to Sea. Very enlivening! Tara will love it.
I do hope this finds you well and if you have a few moments please have a stroll around my website - any feedback will be gratefully received - please feel free to ask me questions about my courses if you have any too. You are already here on my website, just select the different pages and wander about <3 thank you!