hi there
How are you today? It's been so hot.
I wanted to share with you about our amazing time in Edinburgh and The East Neuk Of Fife by the Sea (great big, happy smile, contented sigh).
It was a roller coaster of emotions. Amazing! Art, a Concert in an iconic setting, staying in a hotel near 3 incredible, Famous Bridges, walks along beaches, art galleries, coffee by the sea and lots of exciting ideas and loads of laughter with wonderful company.
Before we left I had spent much of my time creating in my studio. It was very exciting to see what was emerging for me as I created. I was going through a huge process of personal change, which always happens when I paint and why I love to create. That is the image up in the header.
Everything I create "speaks" of who I am, where I find myself on this journey through life and the issues that are arising, my thoughts, emotions and processing of it all. I find this one of the most exciting aspects of what I offer.
It was very difficult to tear myself away from my Studio to be honest. I had been really looking forward to going to the concert and spending time away over a long weekend by the sea and yet it felt such a wrench to leave my latest painting. If only I could take her with me, and my paints.... not possible in hotels though.
I took her photograph with me on my phone. I had the entire process from blank canvas to the finished image on my phone.
It may seem really strange to want to take a painting away with me, on a long weekend, which would be filled with exciting things to do... but whatever I paint is such a huge part of who I am. It is like looking in to a mirror. It was like leaving a part of me behind.
It really is so true that whatever we paint, doodle, scrawl, scratch, finger paint, any marks we make, speaks wholly and hugely about who we are, Past and Present. It's all there. It's like looking in a mirror. Whatever you put on paper or canvas will 'speak' of you, your life.
For me the more we know about ourselves, all of ourselves, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.... then the more inner peace and self acceptance this brings to us. More self acceptance, means less stress, less defensiveness, less anxiety.
Self Acceptance brings about a deep Inner Peace.
As I had created my Angel each of the layers spoke deeply of my life. The final layers revealed much to me and I am so grateful to have been able to really see and hear myself through my Angel's emergence.
It allowed me to really appreciate how my Beloved has enabled me to become me through his constant love and acceptance of me. Me the Non Housewife... Me the Striving Individual. Me the Loosening Off the Shackles of my Upbringing to become Me.
I could 'see' many tall grown ups around my Inner Child in the earlier layers of my painting. I am in there looking up at them all. They can't see me. They didn't appreciate what I was going through back then. I don't think I had the capacity to ask for help though. I was Very Strong, very Self Sufficient.
In the top right corner is 'The Kiss'. When I discovered this part of my painting I could see my Beloved and I, he in his bright pink, including beard sharing a kiss with me. I have a pink face with orange and yellow/pink hair. I felt so happy when I discovered this image and delved deeply into its messages. It was all about how he accepted me as I was and this enabled me to become Me, fully.
I couldn't bear to hide 'The Kiss' part of my layers. They remain there for all to see. I have so much respect for my Beloved. He has been the one person in my life who has encouraged and accepted me to become me. I did not know this initially. I was so lacking in awareness way back then and could only resist and defend what was in my own Mind. I had been rebelling all that I carried within. What an amazing moment of Self Awareness!
This painting has been a catalyst for me. No wonder I could hardly bear to leave it behind on our recent weekend away.
You may be curious about the purple broad lines which surround her? Each one of these I scraped on top of the teal background. I had such an impulse to add them and yet felt tentative in case I 'ruined' my painting.
As I created them, I realised each one symbolised events in my life which I have overcome and helped me to grow and develop. I did not count them as I painted them I simply added them intuitively, without understanding what they represented at that stage. However, then I knew. What an incredible painting process this has offered to me.
So I felt the incredible wrench as I left her hanging in my Consulting room wall. We packed the car and drove up to Edinburgh.
EDINBURGH is the most historic and incredible City alongside London for me. I love both equally and have such love and respect for their histories.
We unpacked at our Hotel, got ready, then caught the train to the City Centre. We were early so had coffee surrounded by ancient and brand new. For me, I dismissed the New and gazed in awe at the ancient monuments and buildings. Such a hilly city with incredibly tall buildings. I devoured more history as I sipped coffee and glanced at my photo of my Angel Self on my phone and back to the history of Edinburgh.
Then after a unique gathering on the Royal Mile, everyone in great spirits, we were all escorted up the ancient cobbled hill into Edinburgh Castle. We found our fabulous seats up high, looking directly at the stage. I sat down and immediately felt engulfed with emotion. The Castle was huge and so beautiful. It had fires burning all around the top. The stage down below. Such a contrast of old and new.
I wandered through history in my Mind wondering about all those who have gone before us, many with brutal and bloody endings to their lives. What would they have made of this amazing sight, if they had looked out through the Castle windows to see this incredible throng of people and hearing the extraordinary sounds emerging in great volume. We saw The Proclaimers who were just incredible.
The thing that most grabbed my heart strings was hearing the thousands and thousands of voices all singing along to the wonderful heart-felt songs together as a mass. That was the most incredible thing.
I sang loudly, possibly badly but I didn't care, I just let my Heart soar with Joy and emotions. I cried a lot through that evening with so much happiness. I think this was one of the best experiences of my life.
By the end of the evening, it was pitch black, except for the burning fires up top and the stage lit up so brightly. I felt like I knew all of the people seated around me. We all had tears in our eyes and sang our hearts out.
Leaving was a slow process, filing out in a huge mass together, taking baby steps and still the crowd was singing, smiling, cuddling into each other having experienced this amazing evening together. People of all ages were there from an amazing 3 year old boy who knew all the words to much, much older. All the fans from the last 30 plus years were all loved up that night.
One of my favourite new songs of their's in case you would like to listen is The Streets of Edinburgh - it's beautiful, touching words. My other favourite - Sunshine On Leith.
Waverley Train Station was remarkably quiet and deserted for a City Centre at midnight as we waited for our train back to the hotel. We were quiet, arm in arm, wandering around the old station full of character, my Mind full of the fab songs I'd heard that evening. There was a piano in the centre of the old part of the train station and a young man was sitting there playing something quietly.
Next day we went to South Queensferry - a unique and olde town not even a mile away from our hotel. What an incredible feeling I had under the famous Forth Road Bridge. I got a huge, emotional lump in my throat as I looked up at the enormity of the bridge. The people who have these incredible ideas and see them through leave me in awe.
At South Queensferry there are three famous bridges together. The brand new Queensferry Crossing, the old Forth Road Bridge in the middle and then the ancient and famous Railway Forth Bridge. Wow what a sight!
Then we drove up to St Andrews. Sea side walks, Fraser's Art Gallery, exploring ancient Cathedral and Castle, the dramatic, rocky drop down to the Sea and a lovely coffee.
We came back home and more excitement for me... back home to my Angel Painting!
So how are you doing? You might like to just check in with yourself as you have accompanied me through my blog post. How are you feeling? If you are anything like me, empathic, you will probably have experienced a few emotions as you read my words?
Oh yes, and the last week in August I am beginning a new Angel painting course in a small online group. Would you like to participate in a warm, supportive group and paint your very own Angel who will whisper to your Heart?
https://www.kassimartin.com/e-courses-sign-up/angel-goddess-me
warmly
Kassi